Disclaimer and Terms of Use

Disclaimer
Headlines from Utopia (HFU) is a satirical news site.  All stories are entirely fictional and  are intended for purposes of entertainment and social and political commentary.  Our articles involve two main groups of individuals: public officials and fictional characters.  Although the public officials identified in our stories are real people, and their titles or work positions are real, the stories, facts, and quotes attributed to them are not.  With respect to the fictional characters in our stories, any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  HFU expressly disclaims any liability for any consequences arising out of a mistaken belief that any of our stories are real.

Terms of Use
By using our site you acknowledge your understanding and acceptance of the disclaimer above, and you agree to be bound by the following terms of use:

Comments
Absolutely no registration of any kind is required to simply read our articles.  HFU allows you to post comments on the site, provided that you first register to do so with a valid email address.  We reserve the right to allow as much or as little opportunity for registration as we choose, in our absolute discretion, and we may close particular comment threads or discontinue our general policy of allowing comments at any time.  By registering to post comments, you warrant that you are at least 18 years old and that you are solely responsible for your account’s activity.

We reserve the right to delete your comments or revoke your registration for any reason and at any time, without notice.  We will usually do so if you post something that is, in our opinion, (a) off-topic; (b) libelous, defamatory, abusive, harassing, threatening, profane, pornographic, offensive, false, misleading, or which otherwise violates or encourages others to violate these terms of use or any law, including intellectual property laws; or (c) “spam,” i.e., an attempt to advertise, solicit, or otherwise promote goods and services.  These are not the only reasons we may delete comments or revoke comment registration.
Although we will make these efforts to monitor comments, HFU expressly disclaims any and all liability that may result from any comments made on our site.  We also expressly disclaim any responsibility for any third party Web sites or emails linked to in any comments.  By commenting on our site, you agree that you retain all ownership rights in what you post here and that you will relieve us from any and all liability that may result from those postings.  You further agree to grant us a worldwide, irrevocable, non-exclusive, royalty-free, sublicenseable and transferable license to store, use, transmit, display, publish, reproduce, or otherwise distribute your comments without limitation, as well as to make such additional uses of them as may be needed or desired by HFU.

Privacy Policy
In order to comment on our site, we require you to first register with your name and valid email address.  This email address is used only for purposes of commenting.  No registration is required simply to read our news stories.  Click here to learn more about our privacy policy.

Intellectual Property
Unless otherwise noted, and subject to the provisions below, everything you see on our site, except advertisements, is owned by or licensed to HFU, subject to copyright and other intellectual property rights under United States and foreign laws and international conventions. The text of our articles is entirely our original work and we reserve all rights in and to this material.

Notwithstanding the foregoing, HFU may occasionally post graphics, photos, audio, or video, or links to the same, which it neither owns nor has a license to use, if we believe in good faith that the use of such material constitutes fair use as defined by Section 107 of Title 17 of the United States Code, as amended.  If you hold the copyright to any such work and believe that our use fails to qualify for protection under Section 107, you may request that we remove it from our site by emailing editor@headlinesfromutopia.com.

We encourage you to email and post links to our articles on third party sites, and to share our stories in general with others.  However, we reiterate that we retain all intellectual property rights to our articles.  We are also not responsible for any consequences resulting from your sending our link to others or posting it on third party sites.  You may share our stories with others and reproduce them in other media, provided you give proper attribution to Headlines from Utopia and, where possible, a link to the specific article or to our home page.

Warranty
YOU AGREE THAT YOUR USE OF HFU SHALL BE AT YOUR SOLE RISK.  TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, THE OWNERS, EMPLOYEES, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, AFFILIATES, AND AGENTS OF HFU DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY WARRANTIES OF ACCURACY, RELIABILITY, TITLE, MERCHANTABILITY, NON-INFRINGEMENT, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OR ANY OTHER WARRANTY, CONDITION, GUARANTEE OR REPRESENTATION, WHETHER ORAL, IN WRITING OR IN ELECTRONIC FORM, IN CONNECTION WITH HFU AND YOUR USE THEREOF.  HFU MAKES NO WARRANTIES OR REPRESENTATIONS ABOUT THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THIS SITE’S CONTENT OR THE CONTENT OF ANY SITES LINKED TO THIS SITE AND ASSUMES NO LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY (I) ERRORS, MISTAKES, OR INACCURACIES OF CONTENT, (II) PERSONAL INJURY OR PROPERTY DAMAGE, OF ANY NATURE WHATSOEVER, RESULTING FROM YOUR ACCESS TO AND USE OF OUR WEBSITE, (III) UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO OR USE OF OUR SECURE SERVERS AND/OR ANY AND ALL PERSONAL INFORMATION AND/OR FINANCIAL INFORMATION STORED THEREIN, (IV) INTERRUPTION OR CESSATION OF TRANSMISSION TO OR FROM OUR WEBSITE, (V) BUGS, VIRUSES, TROJAN HORSES, MALWARE, OR THE LIKE WHICH MAY BE TRANSMITTED TO OR THROUGH OUR WEBSITE BY ANY THIRD PARTY, AND/OR (VI) ERRORS OR OMISSIONS IN ANY CONTENT OR FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE OF ANY KIND INCURRED AS A RESULT OF THE USE OF ANY CONTENT POSTED, EMAILED, TRANSMITTED, OR OTHERWISE MADE AVAILABLE VIA HEADLINESFROMUTOPIA.COM.  HFU DOES NOT WARRANT, ENDORSE, GUARANTEE, OR ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY PRODUCT OR SERVICE ADVERTISED OR OFFERED BY A THIRD PARTY THROUGH HEADLINESFROMUTOPIA.COM OR ANY HYPERLINKED WEBSITE OR FEATURED IN ANY BANNER OR OTHER ADVERTISING, AND HFU WILL NOT BE A PARTY TO OR IN ANY WAY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MONITORING ANY TRANSACTION BETWEEN YOU AND THIRD-PARTY PROVIDERS OF PRODUCTS OR SERVICES, INCLUDING SERVICES SOLD THROUGH OUR ONLINE ADVERTISERS.

Limitation of Liability
IN NO EVENT SHALL HFU, ITS OWNERS, EMPLOYEES, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, AFFILIATES, OR AGENTS, BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES WHATSOEVER RESULTING FROM ANY (I) ERRORS, MISTAKES, OR INACCURACIES OF CONTENT, (II) PERSONAL INJURY OR PROPERTY DAMAGE, OF ANY NATURE WHATSOEVER, RESULTING FROM YOUR ACCESS TO AND USE OF OUR WEBSITE, (III) UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO OR USE OF OUR SECURE SERVERS AND/OR ANY AND ALL PERSONAL INFORMATION AND/OR FINANCIAL INFORMATION STORED THEREIN, (IV) INTERRUPTION OR CESSATION OF TRANSMISSION TO OR FROM OUR WEBSITE, (V) BUGS, VIRUSES, TROJAN HORSES, MALWARE, OR THE LIKE, WHICH MAY BE TRANSMITTED TO OR THROUGH OUR WEBSITE BY ANY THIRD PARTY, AND/OR (VI) ERRORS OR OMISSIONS IN ANY CONTENT OR FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE OF ANY KIND INCURRED AS A RESULT OF YOUR USE OF ANY CONTENT POSTED, EMAILED, TRANSMITTED, OR OTHERWISE MADE AVAILABLE VIA HEADLINESFROMUTOPIA.COM, WHETHER BASED ON WARRANTY, CONTRACT, TORT, OR ANY OTHER LEGAL THEORY, AND WHETHER OR NOT HFU IS ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.  THE FOREGOING LIMITATION OF LIABILITY SHALL APPLY TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW IN THE APPLICABLE JURISDICTION.

YOU SPECIFICALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HFU SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR USER COMMENTS, FOR MONITORING ANY TRANSACTION BETWEEN YOU AND THIRD-PARTY PROVIDERS OF PRODUCTS OR SERVICES, INCLUDING SERVICES SOLD THROUGH OUR ONLINE ADVERTISERS, OR FOR THE DEFAMATORY, OFFENSIVE, OR ILLEGAL CONDUCT OF ANY THIRD PARTY, AND THAT THE RISK OF HARM OR DAMAGE FROM THE FOREGOING RESTS ENTIRELY WITH YOU.

Miscellaneous
These terms of use (including the HFU privacy policy incorporated by reference herein) represent the entire agreement between you and Headlines from Utopia and apply exclusively to HeadlinesfromUtopia.com.  They do not apply to our advertisers, online merchandisers, websites to which we link, or any other third party, none of which are owned or operated by Headlines from Utopia, and about which we make no warranties or representations.  For information about a third party’s terms of use, please consult their individual website.  By using our site you agree to relieve us from any and all liability that may result from your use of a third-party site.

You also agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Headlines from Utopia, and its officers, directors, employees, independent contractors, affiliates, and agents from and against any claims, actions, demands, expenses, liabilities, costs, debts, and damages (including legal and professional fees) asserted by any third party arising from your use of HeadlinesfromUtopia.com, your alleged violation of any law, including laws governing intellectual property or privacy rights, or your violation of these terms of use.
These terms of use may be revised from time to time.  Please check this page periodically for updates.  Your use of our site on any given date indicates your acceptance to the terms of use as of that date.