Dems kill selves over Obama-GOP tax deal

President Obama agreed with GOP leaders to steal less money from people for another two years.

Some Democrats and progressive groups are so upset over President Obama’s tax compromise with congressional Republicans that they have decided to end their lives.

Reports of mass suicides have spread following announcement of the deal to extend all of the Bush-era tax cuts for two years.  Although the plan includes funding for unemployment benefits and extension of Obama’s tax cuts, the decision to continue cuts for the wealthiest Americans has prompted many to leave this life.

One group, Citizens for Higher Taxes, posted a Facebook message shortly before its members drank cyanide-laced Kool-Aid.  The message lamented the lack of additional tax dollars to waste on more government programs.

“Now that Congress will be confiscating less money from hard-working Americans, there will be less spending on programs that don’t work,” said group president Roy Owen.  “We need this spending to convince people that Washington knows how to fix the economy; without it, we fear the American public will no longer have faith in government.”

Another pro-tax organization, American Fair Share, expressed shock over the president’s attempt at bipartisanship and compromise before offing itself.

“Bipartisanship is supposed to mean that Republicans vote for or refuse to question Democratic policies, not that they actually get something they want,” wrote Eleanor Riff, a member of the group, before several members ended their lives.  “This is not how compromise should ever work.”

Riff also seemed dismayed that the president is a mere mortal rather than the superhuman she thought she voted for in 2008.

“Hope and change seemed like such solid campaign platforms; what happened?” she wrote.

More than a few Democratic strategists who did not end their lives blamed the president for casting the party’s 2012 re-election prospects in doubt.  The dual campaign platforms of avoiding any and all spending cuts and bribing people with free stuff now appear in jeopardy.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we lose in two years,” said James Carville.  “The only way to reduce the deficit is to raise taxes, and now people won’t trust us on the deficit either.”

Carville insisted the president should have stuck to his guns rather than compromise.

“If there’s one thing we’re consistent about, it’s raising taxes and spending money,” he said.  “We need Obama to get some backbone and defend these time-honored Democratic traditions.”

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